mom..dad..LOVE..

salam....

" Syurga di bawah telapak kaki ibu "

when ppl asked a really simple question to me..
"do u LOVE ur mom?"....
i juz like thinking 4 a while..
although guys of coz u will straightly answer "Of coz who doesnt LOVE their mom...?"...but...huh..

this is kind of hard 4 me..but juz wanna share ya'll
my STORY...my LIFE....
the thing here is i cnt easily expressed my LOVE towards my mom ( as well as my dad ) maybe bcoz of the gap between us...i used to stay a far from her since what juz happened in our family..huuuhh
ppl we see like we hv a really GOOD relationship huh...?
1st we look SIMILAR rite?...then we look like we hv no prob between each other n even s00oooo CLOSE as mom n her daughter..

unfortunately...its kind of no-no...
dunno what is exactly our prob..we always argue bout the small-small things such as TV program, computer, her missed calls n a lot of CHILDISH stuff!
im so0ooo TIRED of it..as u know why...if i just shut up my mouth...she will just saying whatever she wanna say which is RIDICULOUS n doesnt make sense at all..
well of coz ya'll wanna an example huh..dis is some of what she said..
" I knew that when im so0oo old, u n ur sister will feel that im a burden n u guys will leave me at the old folks home..!" she said without feeling any GUILTY..hishhhhhhhh....

aiyaaaa...I'm TIRED - TIRED - TIRED!!!!
actually this is kind of FUNNY but the reality is s0oo00 HARD to hear...hemmmmm
i will not publish it here of coz...Juz kept it between me, my sis n HER!!!
but what u should know is..u cnt stand it..
u juz like wanna go n run away from d house n ur OWN mom!

maybe bcoz i kept on blaming her (of coz n of coz my dad too) bout what had happened in our FAMILY..
i can say dat i dont hv FAMILY...a HAPPY family!..maybe it juz a song...
sounds so0oooo CRUEL huh?
but this is what i felt...s000oooo TIRED!!!
dunno when it will stop...juz pray dat it will STOP...plz..once...

but guys...( my eyes started to...)
once...just IMAGINE that one day u wake up n..
u r already alone in this world...without ur LOVED one..
no mom...no dad...no sis...or whatever..
ITS EMPTY!!!! ( I start crying...huh )
u dont hv anything...guys..
maybe dis is d feeling of the orphan's kids we saw in the TV or whatsoever..
which i cnt help from crying if i saw those kids...especially during 'Aidilfitri'...
so sad guys...they r just too YOUNG to live alone in dis challenging world!

now..i dont really know what i should say...
LOVE ur parents before they died...or...appreciate 'em before the gone....
or LOVE 'em as they LOVE u guys...hemmm...
sounds weird...coz im not d one who practiced it although i knew it..
guys...
one thing dat i cn say here is...
" If u feel like ur mom always babbling at u...scolded u even u r already 21 now...but she still treat u like u just 2 years old...
just think dat ONE DAY when she 'gone' n disappeared from ur eyes...
guys...theres no one will babbling at u, scold u when u didnt go back home on weekend..
n d most is theres NO ONE u can call her MOM!"
( im crying rite now...seriously...)

guys...LOVE ur parents...
im still trying my BEST to do it...although ya'll will say dat Suzai..its simple thing..hw come u didnt LOVE 'em who gave u birth n care of u since u r a baby till now...!
i know...i know...but to show it...huuhhhh...i'll try....
of coz I LOVE 'em...n of coz...
this is my BIGGEST fear..
" LOST MY PARENTS!"...
i dont wanna think bout it...ALLAH the ONE who knows EVERYTHING!
lastly...

" adik SAYANG MAMA n PAPA...! "
what had happened was happend n its already a bad HISTORY for us...now we should move on n FORGET bout it...coz i know it will never ever be d SAME!